“I’ve seen worse,” I said, surveying the disaster area that doubled as Nick’s
room critically. I kicked a familiar pile of towels aside, and noticed
that things had changed around a bit. * Looks like there was a minor skirmish after I beat a hasty retreat this
morning. * I’d explained my little ruse to
Nick on the way back to the hotel, once I’d calmed down enough to actually
talk. I’d actually explained it to him on our ‘date,’ but he hadn’t been
listening to me then. So I’d had to go through the whole convoluted thing
again. He’d been a little annoyed about the fact that I’d used his room
as a hideout, but mostly, I think, because I hadn’t asked. However,
taking into consideration the fact that every other time I’d asked to come into
his room, I’d been told to “Fuck off,”…My train of thought derailed as I
spotted the magazine peeking out from a pile of clothes. I blinked.
I’d forgotten about that thing. If Nick kept girly magazines in his room,
things weren’t exactly looking up for me. I picked the magazine up
carefully, between my thumb and index finger. The centerfold, a rather
chesty redhead, fluttered out. I’d been saying something, hadn’t I?
I looked at the picture, then back up at Nick. * Second thoughts anyone? * That, of
course, I kept to myself. Nothing like a good-looking
woman to make a man insecure. “This
is a little unnerving, however. Maybe…maybe this wasn’t such a good idea
after all. It’s not like I can compare to, uh,” I waved my hand at the redhead’s
abundant assets, “that.” Yes, I was definitely starting to feel insecure.
Nick gave the magazine a considering look, looked up at me, looked back down at
the magazine, and then back up at me.
“Honey, she ain’t got nothin’ on you.” The blatant admiration in his
eyes caused my face to spontaneously combust. That’s what it felt like,
anyways. It spread like wildfire into my scalp, and practically down to
my toes. I blushed so hard it hurt.
* I suppose that answers that question.
* I managed to drag my gaze up from where it had
zeroed in on the floor, and Nick was right there, eyes burning into
mine. The magazine was snatched out of my hands and tossed halfway across
the room. My eyes widened. * Oh
hell… *
“Wha - ” I started to
stammer something out, but it got lodged somewhere in the back of Nick’s
throat. Having been kissed all of three times in my life, and all three
of those times occurring within the last hour or so, I probably wasn’t all that
good. At first. That’s the nice thing
about having an almost vertical learning curve. Nick caught me off guard,
though, when he…he…* Oh my... * Surprise rippled
through me. I’d read about this, even heard about it, but the reality of
actually having his tongue in my mouth short-circuited a few neurons in my
head. French kissing, that’s what this was. I’d heard it described
once as two people sharing the same breath, the same soul. It had sounded
very beautiful and poetic. They neglected to mention that it was also
slightly awkward. Not to mention messy. However, it was rather
enjoyable, once I got the hang of it. I kept trying to catalogue all the
myriad sensations running through me, but it was quickly becoming
impossible. Especially when Nick yanked me up against
him, hard. He followed
up on this by snaking his arms around and down my back, and he…squeezed.
That did interesting things to certain parts of my anatomy, as well as a fair
job of scrambling more of my thought processes. Somehow, my hands ended
up in his hair, and I was feeling the urgent need to move, move up
against that deliciously hard body pressing into mine, do anything to get more
of…of…
“Whoa,” I gasped, dragging myself away from the kiss. I didn’t get very
far, because my hands were very firm about wanting to stay tangled in Nick’s
hair. That, and Nick’s hands were just as
adamant about staying locked around me.
“Hum, yeah,” he said, grinning for all the world like
a humanoid Cheshire Cat that had gotten into the cream. It wasn’t helping
me get any more under control, because I kept wanting
to kiss that expression off his face. This was moving waayy
too fast, but damn if it didn’t feel good. So good.
I closed my eyes, trying once more to subdue what was wreaking havoc on my
senses. This was…it…I knew what
it was, I just couldn’t…
Nick trailed his lips across my cheek and down my neck, stopping just under my
earlobe. * Oh Gooooodddd… * A guttural
sound forced its way out of my throat as he licked and nipped what I was fast
beginning to realize was another weak spot of mine. I seemed to have all
sorts of those where he was concerned. * Maybe its time I see if I can find a few of his… * I began
tugging and pulling at Nick’s coat, wanting to see more of him; momentarily
forgetting that soon he would be wanting to see more of me…
After his coat had been flung aside, he dragged his mouth up to mine and yanked
me up against him in a bruising kiss. He ground against me, so
hard I saw stars, and kissed me like he was trying to crawl inside, like he was
trying to fuck my mouth with his tongue. He kissed me like he was trying
to own me, and I couldn’t bring myself to care. The dizzying, burning sensation
I’d experienced earlier returned, spreading out across my body and beyond,
until the very air seemed to crackle. That was about the time when Nick
got a trifle impatient about the amount of clothing I was wearing.
With a few loud snaps, and the sound of ripping cloth, my coat was discarded to
the floor and my scars were once again on display. The shock of having my
coat bodily ripped off of me brought me out of my daze enough to stumble
backwards a few paces and direct my gaze to the floor, dread momentarily taking
the place of whatever I’d been feeling.
“Wuh-wha…?” Nick said. I peeked up from
beneath strands of my hair in time to see his eyes widen, and the resulting
shockwave that hit my shields let me know that the last veil I’d thrown across
his mind had been ripped aside. I tensed, waiting for an explosion the
likes of which would make last night look tame, but he only stared at me for
several seconds; several seconds that seemed to last for an eternity before he
finally spoke.
“You knew.” It almost sounded like an accusation. What did I… “You already
FUCKING know!” Oh yeah. That. “You knew all along, and you still…” He trailed off, looking lost, and I
had the sudden urge to hug him, but I didn’t really know how to go about giving
him one without making the situation more awkward than it already was. * Why don’t you try the truth.
* Good idea.
“Well, I wouldn’t say I knew all
along, but…” I’d had my suspicions, and like I suspected, in the end the only
thing that mattered was him. I shrugged, and smiled. “I couldn’t
help it.” He stared at me. Was it really so hard for him to
believe?
“Why?” Heh, I thought that was my line.
Guess the tables had turned since last night.
“Because,” I said, stepping closer, still smiling a gentle smile, “You’re
beautiful.” His eyes swam with questions, but after a brief, albeit
intense internal struggle, he straightened, determination fairly radiating off
of him. He squared his shoulders, and…asked me a question.
“Do you know what they call me?” I frowned. Where the hell had that come from? “They call me
Chapel the Evergreen, the one who rings the black funeral bell.”
Apparently, it had been a rhetorical question. If he was expecting me to
react to the name, he was going to be disappointed, because I’d never heard of
that particular name before. At least, not in reference
to him. But, since he
was throwing titles around, I guess it was time to remind him I had more than a
few of my own. And that they were equally meaningless.
“And they call me the Humanoid Typhoon, the Stampede. The
one who single-handedly destroyed the city of
Nick stared down at it for a moment. And truthfully, it was worth a stare
or two, being attached to a mostly metal arm. I watched about four
different expressions chase themselves across his face, before one corner of
his mouth quirked up, and he took my hand and shook it.
“It’s Nick,” he said. And just like that, I was happier than I could ever
remember being. Hell, I was probably glowing, I was so happy, and I was
smiling my ‘real smile’. The one that reached my eyes.
Nick had told me once that my face looked better with a real smile, and perhaps
he was right. I’d never seen myself smile, but I could feel it, and it felt…wonderful.
Nick gently pulled me to him, letting go of my hand to wrap his arms around
me. Gently, so gently, like he thought I might break if he held on too
tightly. He ran a hand down my back with that same gentleness, fingertips
exploring my scars where they came across them.
+So many…+
But not enough. Never enough,
not when everyone around me kept suffering. Reluctantly, I pulled
away, looking off to the side, and sighed.
“They’re the price I have to pay.” The price I’d always had to pay, and
would keep paying. As long as I had to.
Nick pulled my chin back up till I was facing him, and locked gazes with me
again, a fierce intensity burning in his dark eyes.
“Nobody has the right to mark you like that. And God help me, nobody ever
will again.” A strange sensation passed through me, and I had the feeling
that from this point on, my skin would never hold another scar. Like I’d
been given back a protection I’d once possessed. He had marked me as his,
but it was a mark of a different sort, and he’d done it with words; words, and
this strange connection between us that gave me access to something I’d given
up many years ago. Something that was still flowing
through me, wanting to be used, wanting…him. He’d marked me, and
now I needed…him. It all came down to him. For
better or for worse. But what could I do that wouldn’t make him
run away? As I stared at him, his eyes unfocused slightly, like they had
the night before when he was talking to Legato. But I could tell that the
only one he was talking to was himself this time, so I took the opportunity to
look my fill. His chest was gloriously bare, dark from all his time in
the sun. The deepness of his tan seemed to go all the way down, which was
something I wanted to explore, and soon. But what kept drawing me were
his eyes. God save me from his eyes. This close, I could see that
there were flecks of lavender in the normally inky indigo color. They
were stunning. HE was stunning. He also sort of looked like he’d
been hit by a sandsteamer. * I can certainly relate to that.* I wanted
so badly to go to him, to reclaim the space that had opened up between us, but
I still didn’t know... *God damn
insecurities. * I could have just looked in
his mind, but that felt like cheating. I had to ask him.
* You still…want this? * Me, my battered body,
my life…
+How can I look into your eyes, feel you in my mind, and say ‘no’?+ He replied, his ‘voice’ tinted with a slight
disbelief at my question. I could feel his desire, feel him wanting me,
which made my own desire flare higher, but he hadn’t really answered my
question. I’m not sure if even I
knew just what I was asking, but it had more to do with forever than just
tonight. I moved closer to him, bit by bit.
“You have to tell me, Nick,” I said out loud, voice soft. “Do you,” I
shifted closer, “want,” and closer, “this?” I stopped a heartbeat away,
my breath ghosting across his lips, and for one irrational moment I was envious
of my own exhalations. He stared at me, eyes dark with want.
“More than anything.” His eyes closed, and I
took that as assent, impatient to feel his lips on mine again. I pulled
him closer to me, one hand cradling his face while the other slid around his
waist. He relaxed against me, and I felt his hand in my hair, gripping
and pulling me down even closer. * Happy
to oblige. * His mouth opened to mine, and I
decided to try that French kissing thing again. I licked along his lips,
savoring the slightly metallic flavor, before sliding my tongue further into
his mouth. The results were, to say the least, enthusiastic, as Nick was
all too willing to engage in another round. I probably could have stood
there forever, just kissing him, but all too soon, Nick pulled away. He
swept a kiss across my cheek as he whispered, “More,” in my ear. * God, yes, more, why did he stop? * I shivered, and he pressed closer, almost
desperately. We clung to each other for a moment, and I repeated the word
as a question, feeling the need for reassurance.
* More? *
“Yes,” he whispered out loud, and then repeated it more firmly,
“Just…yes.” The sensation of his lips and breath so close to my ear drew
a rumbling purr of a moan out of my throat. God, that
felt so good. But any more of this, and I’d be a pile of quivering flesh
in his hands. Gathering up what few brain cells I had left, I moved my
head just out of reach, bending down to kiss along his neck.
Reciprocation, there was a nice long word. His head fell back, mouth
slightly open, and I took it to mean he liked that. Maybe he liked having
his ears kissed too? Judging from the way all his breath left his
body in a whoosh, I was guessing that he liked it very much. I licked
along the outer shell and down to his earlobe, sucking it into my mouth.
It was soft and velvety, and my teeth closed around it, biting down ever so
slightly. I wanted to do it again, harder, but I was afraid if I did I’d
hurt him so I drew back.
Nick looked up at me as I brushed my thumb gently over his right cheek.
It was the same one I'd grazed with a bullet during the tournament, though the
slim wound was long since gone. I couldn’t truly feel his skin, lacking
as I was in nerve endings in my left arm. What little sensation I
possessed in the hand portion was where electrical wires had been installed to
run through the metal and connect with what was left of the nerves in my upper
arm. That way, I wouldn’t crush things accidentally. But it denied
me the ability to feel anything but the most extremes of texture. Wearing
gloves kept me from being constantly reminded of it, but they’d been discarded
some time earlier tonight, probably when Nick had ripped my coat off of
me. I ran my thumb across his cheek again, longing to know if his skin
was as soft as it looked but not wanting to switch hands. He pressed into
the touch, then turned and kissed my palm. I smiled at the tender
gesture, so seemingly uncharacteristic of him. But then, this whole night
had been one surprise after another. Hopefully there’d be more of the
good kind before the night was over.
This, however, brought up a rather keen point: I had no idea what to do
next. Now, one does not exist on a planet with humans for over 130 years
and NOT know what sex is. I knew perfectly well what sex was.
But…I’d never had it. Not for lack of trying on my part, but I didn’t
want just sex, and I suppose that was part of my problem. The
other part being that it wasn’t just girls
I wanted anymore. Well, actually, I didn’t want any girl anymore, and there was just the one guy. Ok, so I
had more than one problem here. The point remained, though, that most of
what I did know about sex came
through hearsay. It is one thing to overhear men bragging drunkenly about
their latest female conquest. The ones that bragged about their male
conquests, however, weren’t nearly so…graphic about it. And were a lot harder to overhear. And so, while I
knew that sex between men was possible, I was rather mystified as to how
exactly it was accomplished. Lucky me, though,
Nick seemed to have a pretty good handle on things. * Let’s just hope he
doesn’t laugh me out of the room…*
+Why would I laugh at you?+ Oops, looks like I’d
been the one broadcasting this time. For the thousandth time that night,
I directed my embarrassed gaze to the floor, feeling a
blush rise once more. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out
the source of my embarrassment, or just why Nick would soon be laughing at me,
but Nick had proven to be especially dense when he put his mind to it. Or didn’t put his mind to it, as the case may be. How
to say this, how to say this…
“I...I’ve, uhm...” Brilliant.
But it didn’t matter, since Nick caught on immediately. For once.
“Shit, you’ve never done this before, have you?” And then, to my infinite
mortification, he burst out laughing. Just like I’d thought he would, the
bastard. I blushed harder, if that was even possible because I had to be
at least as red as my coat right now, and corrected him on one little oversight
in his otherwise-correct deduction.
“I’ve
never done anything like this before.”
“Goddamn, on top of everything else, you’re innocent too.”
*
Goddamnit, I knew you were going to laugh at
me. * It would just figure. Maybe I should
be a prophet instead of an outlaw.
+Sorry.+ He bit back another snicker.
+It’s just…hard to believe.+ I gave him a
Look. The implications of that were either a fantastic
compliment, or a horrific insult, and I wasn’t sure whether to blush or
be pissed.
“Oh?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. Maybe Nick could explain a little
further just what he meant by that little comment.
“Well…” He looked me up and down, flailing his hands about in a no doubt
very complicated gesture. “I mean, yeah.”
He was trying to communicate something to me, I was sure of it, but damned if I
could tell just what the hell he was trying to say. Now I was the one
hard pressed to hold back my amusement.
“I’m pretty sure that was supposed to be a compliment, but I’m not sure how.”
“So I lack eloquence,” Nick tossed off, attempting to be casual. “So what?” He turned around, looking for his jacket,
and picked it up off the floor, probably looking for his cigarettes but as he
put his back to me I ceased thinking anything particularly relevant other than
* What the fuck? * as
I got an eyeful of just what he’d been hiding under that suit of his.
The tattoo was huge, spreading across his shoulder blades and down his
back. At first glance, it appeared to be an ornate cross, with thick
black streaks outlining it and red spikes crossing behind. It was a valid
assumption, given his occupation, but closer inspection revealed that it was
actually a huge bird, with outstretched wings. It was…beauty, and pain,
all wrapped up in black and red lines.
“I can almost hear the stupid look on
your face. What?” Nick asked, sitting down at the table with, surprise,
surprise, his cigarettes, and I realized that I’d finally been caught staring
at him. He sounded slightly confused and a little irritated about the
fact that I was, in essence, gawping at him. Was it possible he didn’t
KNOW he had a fucking huge tattoo across his back?
“I…you…that…ow.” *Once
again, a brilliant choice in vocabulary. Stunning.
Although, perhaps ‘stunned’ is a better choice here. *
“Okay, now who’s stammering
around. Spit it out, will ya?” I gathered
up all the eloquence I possessed, along with what was left of my dignity.
“Perhaps it might have escaped your notice, but you have a fucking huge tattoo across your back.”
“Oh yeah. My tattoo.
Heh.”
He grinned, a little boy grin that implied the kind of twisted pride children
take in telling you how many bones they’ve broken. It
was…endearing. And even though I knew it was stupid, I had to ask…
“Did it hurt?”
“Hells yeah it hurt. Felt like I was being etched by acid.” The
‘you dumbass’ was implied.
I wondered briefly about the kind of pain he’d gone through if he could joke
about something like that. I mean…the tattoo was HUGE. I
blinked. No one would go through the agony of that particular process
without a reason, and no one would get something that large unless…he was
hiding something with it. Before I could ponder about it any further,
Nick stood up from the table and turned around, spreading his arms wide.
“Take a look.” I had the distinct feeling that this was not a commonplace
occurrence. The fact that I’d never seen the tattoo before in all the
time I’d known him was clue enough to the fact that he took pains to keep it
hidden. And yet, here he was, letting me take an up close and personal – very personal – look at it. I
walked over to where he was standing, and hesitantly began to trace the
design. It is damn near impossible to be close to something like that and
not touch it; it was almost a need. Had Nick so much as
flinched, I would have stopped, but he said nothing as I began moving my
fingers across his back, reading the tattoo as if it were a passage in
Braille. I read the pain that had gone into the tattoo; and underneath
it, the pain that had made the tattoo necessary. I wasn’t the only one of
us with scars, apparently. I couldn’t see them, but whatever had caused
the scars on his back…it felt as though something had tried to crawl out from
between his shoulder blades. My own twitched in sympathy, sharing the
sensory memory as if it were my own.
I ran my fingers up his neck, and Nick shivered slightly. I’d have to
remember that. I smiled slightly as I continued across his shoulders, and
down his spine to the small of his back, still tracing all the myriad lines
coloring his skin.
“If my scars were this beautiful, I’d be a work of art,” I said quietly,
feeling wistful and more than a little shabby. I gave myself a mental
slap. My scars weren’t there to be admired; they were there as a
reminder. So I wouldn’t forget. As if I could forget.
Nick turned around quickly, eyes fierce. He brought his hands down on my
shoulders, gripping them as if he wanted to shake me senseless. * More like shake some sense into you. *
“You are a work of art,” he said,
keeping his eyes focused on mine. “An exquisite mixture
of beauty and pain wrapped in turquoise eyes and an empty smile.”
When he said that, a feeling of utter peace descended upon me, perhaps for the
first time in my life. * So this is
what it feels like. * Unbidden, a tear made
its way down my cheek. I was crying? But I felt so happy…Nick’s
eyes went wide with what looked like panic.
“Oh, Jesus, don’t cry. God, I’m not that
bad, am I?” I chuckled through the tears that had seemingly come out of
nowhere. He looked so frantic, so worried that he had made me cry, when
his words had done more for me than all the bandages in the world.
“No, no. It’s not that. It’s just…that’s the most beautiful thing
anybody’s ever said to me.” No one had ever told me anything nearly
that…poetic, and certainly not about my scars. All Meryl
had said was that she wouldn’t run away. I hadn’t wanted her in my room
anyways, but she just barged in as per her usual MO, and I hadn’t missed the
horrified fascination in her eyes as she and Millie stared at me. I’d had
enough of that to last me three lifetimes and more, but this…this was entirely
new. And I wanted more of it. And him.
Oh yes, I definitely wanted more of Mr. Nicholas D. Wolfwood.
Nick pulled me back into an embrace, and I rested against him, turning my head
in to face his neck. It felt so good to just be held, like this, and I
let myself relax. The wild ride of emotions I’d been on all day seemed to
finally level out a bit. That is, until Nick ran his tongue along my
neck, and bit me. It didn’t hurt, not really, and any pain I felt
disappeared under the shock of pleasure that flooded through me, causing me to
gasp out loud. My back arched, pushing me closer to him in an instinctive
movement, as he declared in my head + You. Are. Mine.
+ I fought the urge to crow in triumph, instead lifting my head to
place a kiss along his jaw.
* Totally. * I trailed kisses up to his ear.
* Completely. * I nipped gently at it, before
descending back down his neck.
* Forever. * I bit down, harder than Nick had,
and perhaps harder than I’d intended to. Nick gave a low moan, and I
decided that meant he hadn’t minded all that much. But before I could do
anything else, he scooped me up, whirled around, and dumped me unceremoniously
on the bed.
“Oof!”
He followed quickly after, pinning me to the bed and grinning widely before
proceeding to kiss every patch of bare skin he could find. He seemed
especially fond of my neck, though I was astonished to find that my wrist was
just as susceptible to his kisses as my ears. Erogenous zones can be
found in some of the strangest
places. Eventually, though, he got impatient, which seemed to be a common
occurrence with Nick, and attempted to remove my bodysuit much in the same
fashion that he had my coat. Luckily for me, the remainder of my clothing
was a lot more stubborn than he was or I’d have nothing to wear tomorrow
morning. As it was, I was going to have to do some major repairs to my
coat. I hate to sew.
“Goddamnit, get out
of this thing!” He snarled, tugging at one of the buckles.
“You have to let me up first.”
I pushed a little at his shoulders, trying to get him to let go of the strap
before it tore loose. Leather is an absolute bitch to repair, and I’d
bent more than one needle trying to do so. It wasn’t a situation I cared
to repeat.
“Not likely. Just tell me how to do it, then.” Oh, Nick, you have
no idea what you are in for.
“There’s a clasp at the neck, three on each side, and…” He cut me off.
“You are never allowed to wear this
thing again.” * Oh really. *
“What else am I supposed to wear?”
“Nothing?” He grinned, a hopeful glint in his
eyes.
“No dice,” I said flatly.
“Damn.” I rolled my eyes, and sat up, batting his hands away before they
could do any lasting damage.
“Just let me do it.”
“Fine.” He sat back a bit, still straddling my
thighs, and I proceeded to undo all the myriad straps and buckles holding my
clothing together. It was a process I’d perfected over the years, and
every now and then I’d time myself to see how fast I could get in and out of
the thing. My record for my top was 2 minutes getting in, and 45 seconds
getting out. However, this time I went a little slower, because I’d never
undressed in front of anyone before and I was feeling particularly
self-conscious. Nick hadn’t seen the worst of my scars yet, after all.
He watched in avid interest as I peeled myself out of my top, and then…frowned.
“You don’t have nipples.” I blinked. Of all the possible responses,
I had most definitely not been
anticipating that one. I looked down at my chest, and realized something.
“Hunh. You’re
right.” What with the grate covering the puckered wound on my left side,
and the large scar slashing from my right shoulder down nearly to my stomach, I
didn’t have nipples. * Well, whaddya
know. *
“Oh, well.” Nick shrugged, and pushed me flat on the bed again, mouth
glued against mine in a bruising kiss. My yelp of surprise got trapped
somewhere in his tonsils as he tried finding mine with his tongue. He was
so...demanding, and I found myself all too willing to give; all too willing to
give myself over to him. To be his, and only his, for
the rest of my unnatural life. I had never belonged to anyone
before, and had never had anyone that I could call mine. But as we lay
there, pressed together and hips grinding ever-so-slightly together, I realized
that there could only ever be one person for me, now, and that was him.
Nick. * Mine. *
He shifted his mouth to my neck again, before moving down across my chest, and
I found myself briefly wishing that I had
nipples just so I could know what his lips would feel like against
them. It was fairly mind-blowing as it was. He kissed his way down
to my stomach, and I purred in pleasure. If he was heading where I thought he
was heading…my hands clutched at the sheets as my hips bucked up involuntarily
at the thought of him…there.
Nick smoothed his hands along my legs, running them up to my hips and tugging
at my jeans.
“Goddamn you and your complicated clothing,” he muttered against my leg, and I
couldn’t help but smile a little.
“I’m…sorry?” I said, not really apologetic but somehow feeling as though
I should be.
“No you’re not. Just…make this easier on both of us, okay?”
“That requires that you get off of me.”
He looked up at me, rolled his eyes, and verrry
reluctantly climbed off.
“You have to be difficult, don’t you,” he said exasperatedly as he kicked off
his shoes, shucked his jeans and deftly slid his legs under the sheets. Effectively covering his lap. Dammit.
To hide my sudden blush, I quickly turned my back and swung my legs over the
edge of the bed, beginning the somewhat time-consuming process of unbuckling my
boots. I caught a Nick-thought about +offending
footwear+ and though at times I tended to agree that they were a pain in the
ass, those boots had saved me more than once.
“I like these boots,” I
muttered as I finally got them unbuckled enough to yank them off my feet.
I had to stand up to take off my leather chaps, and then my jeans, till all
that was left was my underwear. At which point I sat back down on the bed
and turned to face Nick, who looked me up and down with an almost disappointed
air about him. A small trickle of fear threaded its way into my
heart. * I knew it…*
“You’re not naked.” * Oh. * The fear was replaced by relief, and I covered the
brief moment of panic over with humor.
“Well, I had to leave you something
to do…” It was only fair that he do the rest of the work, anyways.
Granted, if I’d left the removal of all of my clothing to him he’d still be
struggling with my top, but still...My thoughts trailed off as Nick gave me the
most lecherous look I have ever seen on a human face. It was almost
frightening.
“If you think pulling off your shorts is the only thing I get to do tonight, you’re more naïve than I
thought. But it’s a good place to start.” As he slid his fingers
under the waistband of my underwear, I felt what amounted to sparks of
electricity shoot up my spine, and I shuddered, suddenly glad that I had left him something to do, and
finding myself wishing that I’d left him even more clothing to take off of me
if this was what it felt like. The ripples of pleasure descended down,
down below where Nick’s fingers were teasing until it was rather obvious just
how much I liked what he was doing. As if the physical evidence weren’t
enough, I could feel my pleasure spilling over into Nick’s mind, out and around
my shields. Which had an interesting effect on Nick as well, and I hadn’t
done much of anything to him to elicit such an enthusiastic response. And then
his fingers were sliding sideways, across my hip. He tugged at my
underwear, but if he was expecting me to do anything that required effort while
he was doing that…my head fell back,
and things like breathing became just a little bit harder to do. Nick
pulled me sort of across his lap, my feet still dangling off the edge of the
bed and my head towards the end of it. It was a rather…awkward position,
for both of us as Nick soon found out when he tried simultaneously kissing me
and pulling off my underwear. He made a small irritated noise in his
throat before shifting around a little to the point where he could get them
halfway down my thighs. Before I could protest the effective shackling of
my legs, a thought tumbled through my head, followed by a rush of…appreciation.
+Hot Damn.+
* Wha…? * I asked, a little
confused. His eyes were wide, like he’d just seen something rather
unexpected. What on earth…? Nick didn’t answer, just ran a hand up
my thigh and ever so slightly brushed against the base of my erection.
Just like that, all the earlier urgency came burning back into my system,
clamoring for release. My teeth clenched, and a moan forced its way out
of my throat. * He’s so fucking
CLOSE, comeoncomeoncomeon... *
Nick moved out from under me, shifting down to the floor between my
legs, and I was all confused again. He wasn’t going to just leave me like
this was he? Or was he…?
* Nick? * I got up on my elbows, trying to look
down at him.
+Yeeesss?+ He looked
up at me, an expression as close to innocent as he could get on his face.
* Uhm…? * That wasn’t
helping my nervousness; if anything, it made me nervouser.
Making up new words is so much fun.
+Relax. Enjoy. Don’t worry.+ All
this as he pulled my underwear the rest of the way down, and tossed them off
somewhere to join the ranks of the Discarded Clothing Corps. Apparently,
they were recruiting because the underwear didn’t get tossed back, and I was
babbling nonsense in my head because Nick was moving closer and kissing my
knees and moving my legs farther apart and I didn’t know what he was going to
do but I did and I wanted him to do it but I was scared and excited and…he
licked along the inside of my thigh and my eyes got big. He lifted my
legs higher and pulled me farther down the bed. Closer
to him. He ran his hands across my stomach, and the muscles
underneath fluttered in response. He leaned in closer, pressing another
kiss on my thigh before moving higher, and higher, and… * Oh sweet angry Jezuz, he’s not, he is, heisheisheis...
* …and he kept going up my stomach, and I wanted to scream in
frustration. My hands moved down and got a good grip on his head, and I
thanked the fact that he kept it long so that I had something to hold onto as I
tugged him down. He was
supposed to go down, I knew that
much. Down on…me. Yeah, that was the phrase. My hips, like my
hands, moved of their own accord, somehow knowing instinctively what should be
going on here. Nick apparently got the picture, because he gently pried
my hands out of his hair, and leaned in again, licking almost delicately at the
very tip. * Motherfucking tease… * I
moved my hands to the sides to keep from yanking on his hair again, and got a deathgrip on the sheets. He slid his lips over the
tip and began sucking gently, flicking his tongue again, and I pushed up, needing more of that, wanting
more, and Goddammit he was pulling away why was he
doing this to me???
+Whoa! One more move like that, and I won’t be able to finish.+
What the hell did he expect, that I was just gonna
lay there while he fried my brain? People getting electrocuted do not
stay still! But I did as he asked, or at least attempted to. Had he
not suddenly decided to acquiesce to my own unspoken request and take me all
the way inside his mouth at once, which cause me to rather predictably react
the way I had the first time.
+Screw it. You move at all and
I leave. Got it?+ I nodded slightly, the fear of his threat
allowing me to assume just a tad more control over my rampaging hormones.
Never, I had never felt
this kind of need before in my entire life. I was breathing hard,
as if I’d just had to outrun a herd of stampeding tomases.
My heart was pounding furiously, and the energy from before was humming
steadily between the two of us once again, spiraling higher with every move and
breath. It didn’t help that Nick decided to tease me further, testing my
supposed resolve to obey his command. He brushed small kisses and licks
over me, trying to push me past my limits, but I didn’t move. Didn’t
dare, because I didn’t know if Nick would actually act on his threat and I
wasn’t going to risk losing this, no matter how frustrating it was at the
moment, because despite everything it felt so good. So
very, very good. I heard a low whimpering, and realized that it
was coming from me, the sounds crowding in my throat as I fought with
everything I had not to move up into those tantalizing licks, fought not to
resume my grip on his head and make him…nonono, not make, I couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t do that, not to Nick. Not to anybody.
And on the heels of that epiphany I suddenly realized what the draw of sex
was. Besides the obvious, that is. The lines of control blurred in
the bedroom, blurred until one was never sure if one was taking control or
handing it over, and was it even about control? It was taking, and
giving, and above all, it was…pleasure. Or it was supposed to be.
Even as my mind spiraled higher towards bliss, I could see how such a thing
could be abused. Twisted. And I could see
what the draw of that was, too.
+Good boy.+ My eyes snapped open, and a
frustrated growl vibrated out between my clenched teeth.
“Ju-just call me S-Spot.” It wouldn’t be the
first time, although
+If I do, will you sit up and beg?+ I was
guessing that Nick was not going to be anything like
“You...told me...not to move. Make...up...your m-mind.” He couldn’t
both have his cake and eat it too, but if he was going to choose he had better
do it damn fast. I was
beginning to understand Nick’s impatience when it came to this sort of thing.
+Okay.+
With that flippant little thought, he set out once more to eradicate all
thought from my mind. And he did a damned fine job of achieving that
goal, because with every movement of his mouth against me I felt a little more
of myself just slip away, away into a vortex of desire that threatened to
swallow me whole. Just like he was doing.
My body was trembling as I attempted to keep from giving in to the urge to move
up into that hot, soft, God-so-fucking-hot mouth. The heat was
incredible, unbearable, for the first time in my life I was sweating, I was hot, God, the heat, and it was moving,
spreading, pooling lower and lower and then it started to rise, and I surged upwards with the force of it, screaming in
pleasure-that-was-almost-pain as all my barriers came crashing down around me,
and my spine rippled as I came, hard, my mind going blissfully blank.
Distantly, I felt his lips move over me, sucking lightly, and then I felt him
shudder against me, as a wave of his own desire crashed through the link.
I’d been left wide open once again, but the results of this time were infinitely
more pleasurable than the last, and…I blinked dazedly.
* Hot Damn.* I stared down at myself in
disbelief. Was this normal? Nick stared as well, sliding a hand
over skin that had become extremely
sensitive, causing me to harden the rest of the way and nearly lose it again to
boot. Nearly. Oh-so-fucking-close.
His eyes widened and his hand slowed…nonononono!
I glared down at him, throat trying to form the words I needed, and finally
resorted to the link. That was becoming quite the useful addition to my
repertoire of talents.
* Why are you stopping? You don’t just start something like that and stop!? * The
hand resumed its motion.
*
Dontstopkeepgoingyesyesyesyessss… *
I closed my eyes, groaning as I came again. Forgetting entirely that I
had yet to put up any sort of barrier, and everything flowed
right back to Nick again. To him, and right through
him. Again. He turned and bit down
on my thigh, hard. Hard enough to keep me from going
over the edge. Again. But only just barely. The effort of restraining myself
left me whimpering on the bed. Nick lay between my legs for a few
seconds, trying to catch his breath, before finally crawling up on the bed and
flopping down next to me. We both lay with our legs hanging off the edge,
breathing and heart rates eventually slowing down from their frantic
paces. I was trying very hard not to think about what had just happened,
because if I did…well, Nick didn’t look ready for more action so soon.
Tiredly, I set about reshielding my mind. The
aftershocks alone might be enough to set me off again, and that might end up
being more painful than pleasurable.
But as a general whole, the situation had been altogether wonderful.
Funny, I had always heard that first times were at best mediocre, and at
worst, downright painful. Then again, I had the feeling that there was
quite a bit more to the whole sex thing than what we’d just done, nevermind that we’d done a fair amount. I glanced at
Nick out of the corner of my eye. He looked…content. He also looked
about ready to fall asleep, and I wasn’t ready for him to do that yet.
Besides, he was sprawled out on top of the covers, and I was still naked.
I turned to the side, propping myself up on an elbow, and stared at Nick.
* Jayzuz, he’s gorgeous. * A strange thrill of pride went through me. I’d
just had the most incredible experience of my entire life with this man, and I
felt the need to vocalize.
“Well, that went well,” is what came out.
“You moved.” So he had noticed my little earlier
transgression, then. Oops.
“Well, I’m sure as hell not moving now, so I guess that makes up for it.
But if you’re still determined to leave,
*
Please dear God don’t let him leave * let’s put it this way: If
you can actually walk, * Which if you’re
feeling anything like I am now is highly unlikely * I won’t stop
you.” There was a pause, and a bit of shifting, which had an interesting
effect on me. If he kept that up, it wouldn’t be long before I was up for
another round. Again. Which
was also interesting. Guess I had a lot of catching up to do.
“Ugh, I’m going to have a sore throat in the morning, and I can’t even return
the favor.”
“That’s beside the point.” Nick looked over at me, and then looked down
between my legs, where part of me was becoming very much interested in the way
this conversation was going. He leaned over and got a good grip on it.
“No, this is the point.”
“Umm, I wouldn’t do that if I were you…” I trailed off, a little
breathily. Nick let go immediately.
“Jesus Christ, what are you?!”
Well, that took care of that problem, I guess. What was I? I guess
Nick of all people deserved to know what he had just had sex with.
“I’m a plant. Mostly, anyways.”
“Come again?” I reached up and pinched the bridge of my nose. I
seriously hoped that wasn’t a request, because, well, yeah.
“Can you please not use that unfortunate
phrasing? A simple ‘what’ would suffice.”
“Fine. What?!” I
sighed. Of all the possible times for him to get dense
on me.
“I said - ,” Nick interrupted me.
“Yeah, yeah, I heard that part. But, I mean, what?” I thought about this for a second. Nick-ese could be rather hard to translate at times, but if I
was reading the tone right...
“If by ‘what’ you mean ‘how,’ I’m not entirely sure. We-I was probably
part of some scientific experiment, if I had to make an educated guess about
it.” And we hadn’t been the first. That little discovery had been…a
shock, to say the least. “Maybe a process to remove the
need for the plants’ bulbs, or create a way for them to breed. I’d
say at least a good 15-20% of my genetic structure is human, but the rest of
me…” Poor Tessla, she hadn’t been human enough
to sustain the body they gave her. It would have been nice to have a
sister. Nick stared at me for a few seconds, face inscrutable, then he snorted.
“Well, that explains a lot.” It
startled a laugh out of me.
“Yeah, I suppose it does, doesn’t it.”
“Is that why? Why we-they- why they’re after
you?” Now there was something I’d never considered before.
“To be perfectly honest with you, I don’t know if that has much, if any,
bearing on it.” As far as I knew Knives had sent them out after me to
kill me, or to get me to kill them. The fact that I was a plant had
little to do with it. That’s not to say that the Gung-Ho Guns wouldn’t
have their own prejudices, but considering who they worked for, it was a tad
hypocritical of them. “At any rate, its not the
sole reason.”
“Then…why? I mean, if not that…” I waited, but he didn’t finish the
question.
“That’s ‘what’, ‘how’, and ‘why’ you’ve asked me now. All that’s left is
‘where’ and ‘who.’” I was dodging, I knew that, but he was getting way
too close to things that were better left alone.
“I know the ‘where.’ That’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? And ‘who’? I think I’ve got a pretty good idea about
that one too.”
“Do you?” I said. “I thought you did, too, but now I’m thinking you
haven’t looked far enough up the chain of command, so to speak. But once
you do, you’ll get the answers to all your questions and then some.” To
keep some secrets, I guess, you had to disclose others. The damage had
already been done, but at least this way he wouldn’t know the worst of it.
“I’ve never had the answers to all my questions,” Nick drawled sardonically,
“and frankly, I don’t think I want them. Because anybody who’s got a one-up on Legato Bluesummers has
got to be one scary motherfucker.” One scary
motherfucker, eh? Heh, that fit Knives
to a tee. But…
“He wasn’t always that way,” I said out loud, sadly.
“Who? Legato?”
“No. The ‘scary motherfucker.’” As far as
I knew, Legato had always been that way, but that was just my personal opinion.
“You know him?” Nick asked,
incredulous.
“I did, once. It was…a very long time ago.” A
very long time indeed. Long enough ago to make
me wonder if I’d ever known him at all. The brother I’d known
would never have…
“I’m…I’m sorry.” There was genuine sorrow in his voice when he said that,
almost as if he felt…responsible, which was ridiculous. There was only
one person responsible for her death.
“Don’t be,” I said. “It wasn’t your
fault. And, technically, I suppose it wasn’t his fault either…but if he hadn’t done what he did, she wouldn’t
have died then.”
“It was him, wasn’t it? Who…killed her. Fuck.”
“Yeah, that about sums it up. Fuck.” There
was silence, as both of us got lost in thoughts of the past. I could only
guess what Nick was thinking about. But then, he broke the silence, and I
didn’t really have to guess anymore.
“I guess the real difference between you and me is that I paid him
back. In full.” Paid him back? He
hadn’t…no, he wouldn’t have taken on the man I was talking about.
He must have been talking about someone in his own past. Two someones, actually, if I thought about it right. He’d
lost someone close to him as well, it would seem. Lost her to a cold,
unfeeling bastard. But…“In full.”
We had so much in common, more so every day, it seemed, but the differences
yawned between us like some vast canyon. With a raging
river and sharp rocks at the bottom.
*
Oh Nick... *
I shivered, only in part because I was starting to get cold. “I
told you before, I’m no saint,” Nick said, his gaze trained on the ceiling,
carefully not looking in my direction. I’d heard this line of dialogue
before, and I didn’t care to hear the rest of it. Once again, it was time
to remind him of a few things about myself.
“And I’m sure as hell no angel, regardless of what you might think.” I’d
been called a goody-two-shoes mama’s boy enough times to get an idea of how he
thought of me. “If there’s any question of that in your mind, just go
look at the ruins of July.”
“Been there. Done that.”
He made it sound so blasé, like viewing the results of my destructive
capabilities was no big deal. Maybe it was time he knew just how big a
deal it was. To me.
“July happened, what, thirty years ago?” I knew the exact date, but that
wasn’t the point here.
“Twenty-four, actually.” Now for the sixty
billion double dollar question.
“How old do I look to you, Nick?” He looked over at me, giving my
appearance a careful scrutiny.
“My age, maybe a couple of years younger.” I
raised an eyebrow. That had to be the oldest estimate I’d ever
gotten. Most people pegged me in my late teens, not my mid-twenties.
“Tack another hundred years onto that, and you’re about
right.” Nick’s eyes grew very wide.
“That…that means…you came down with the ships,” He said, almost
reverently. “Did you see Earth? Did you…know it?” I laughed
softly.
“No, I’m not quite that old.
But…she did.” I had heard so many stories about Rem’s
home, that there were times I felt as though I did know it. And sometimes, a few rare, precious times when
my mind was at peace, I could almost hear the sound of waves breaking on the
shore. But then I’d look around, and see nothing but an ocean of sand.
“Rem,” Nick said quietly, and it startled me to hear
her name out loud. It had been a very long time since
I’d heard someone else say her name with anything but scorn in their
voice. “You do lead an eventful life, just like they say.”
“Heh. I’ve heard that before.”
“Must be true, then.” I smiled.
“Gospel.” I shivered a little, as my body
reminded me that I had absolutely nothing on and heat was departing at a rapid
rate. I’d actually get sick if I didn’t get covered soon. “Brr, I’m getting really
cold,” I said, whining a little and wrapping my arms around my chest for good
measure. Nick opened his mouth, no doubt to toss off some scathing
remark, and I cut him off.
“Don’t say anything. Just…get off the covers.” It was a little too
complicated to explain at the moment, and it had everything to do with the
80-85% of me that wasn’t human.
Nick gave me a strange look, but he did as I asked, and I hurriedly scooched under the covers, curling up in an attempt to
preserve what body heat I had left. Sensing Nick’s stare, I looked up to
where he was standing over the bed, and caught the expression on his
face. He looked…torn. Like he wanted to crawl under the covers with
me, but something was holding him back. * I never should have told him what I was, but I guess its too late now.
*
“What?” I snapped at him, suddenly defensive. “I’m not good enough to
sleep with now, is that it?” I hurt, and to cover up that hurt I had
lashed out.
“You’re not good enough. You’re
not good enough?” Nick wheeled around, storming over to the table and
slamming himself down into one of the chairs. Where he
proceeded to light himself a cigarette. * At least it’s not a bottle of booze. * “I
shouldn’t even be able to…” He waved his arms in the air, trying to
explain something with a complicated gesture again, and I feared for a moment
that he’d set something on fire with his cigarette. Like his hair.
He flailed a little more, before finally finding the words he’d been searching
for, “…touch you.” He shouldn’t
even be able to touch me? The hell?
“And why is that?” I shot back at him. “Where the hell did you get the
idea that I was any better than anyone else? I told you I’m no
angel. Hell, one of the Gung-Ho Guns themselves called me the
Diablo. The Devil. You’ve seen what I’m
capable of doing; you nearly witnessed it first hand. What makes you feel
like you’re unworthy of me? Of me? I don’t deserve that kind of regard. I
deserve…” I waved a hand at my still-naked body, “I deserve this.” We stared at each other for a
few intense seconds, then Nick’s head dropped to his chest, and he heaved a
humongous sigh.
“If anybody deserves those scars, its me. If I
could take them from you, I would.”
“WHY?” What the hell was wrong with him? I had these scars for a
reason. To take them from me would invalidate that reason. Would
invalidate me, really, which was kind
of pathetic. But…in a strange kind of way, the scars defined who I had
become, why I became who I was. They were a reminder, even though the
memories of each one were firmly implanted in my brain.
“Because the only time people get hurt around you, it’s an accident. When they get hurt around me…its on purpose.” An accident. A mistake.
I was always making mistakes. And when I did…like he said, people got
hurt. But to do it on purpose.
“Who’s purpose?” I snapped back at him. He frowned, and then turned to
look out the window.
“God’s?” Oh, that was cheap. Lay the blame
at the feet of some deity that, well, I didn’t know if He existed or not, but I
had the feeling that there was some serious doubt in Nick’s own mind about that
question.
“Don’t give me that.” His head swung back and he glared at me.
“Don’t give you what?” He shot back at me.
‘That…that load
of complete and utter bullshit.”
He blinked stupidly at me a few times, and I was tempted to ask him if he had
something in his eye.
“I could ask the same thing about you.” The hell?
“What? Do yourself a favor, Nick. Don’t be cryptic. It
doesn’t suit you.”
“Fine, Mr. I-don’t-know-who-the-hell-blew-my-arm-off.” He snubbed out his
cigarette and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at me expectantly.
* Touché. *
But I had to come back with something better than that. I’d admit
that he had a point, but I’d make one of my own first.
“Oh, that wasn’t me being cryptic, that was me saving your sorry, drunken
hide. If I’d told you, you would have gone tearing off after your own
employer, and I can’t help but think that that would have been a Bad
Thing. But,” I sighed dramatically, “You do have a point, I suppose.” He smirked, that smug look I
hated so much crossing his face before the rest of what I’d said sunk in.
“My employer, huh? It figures.”
“Yanno,” I said, shaking my head a little, “I’d say
that I guess you have your secrets and I have mine, but it looks like they’re
the same Goddamned secret.”
“Sure does. Imagine that.” His voice had just the right touch of
irony to it.
“You know what? There are some days when I really hate my life.” I
made a disgusted face.
“Yep.” He lit another cigarette, and let his
head hang over the back of the chair. He was smoking a cigarette upside down. That took
talent. He sat back up, tapping the cigarette lightly against the
ashtray. I remembered seeing someone in a bar taking bets on how long
Nick could go before the end of the cigarette fell off. We’d ended up
winning almost $$100 that night. Fun times.
I shivered. The silence that had grown between us would last the entire
night if I let it, and I was getting cold.
“You gonna sit there all night?” I asked, suddenly
making up my mind. “’Cuz I’m not exactly
getting warmer over here.” It was as close to an apology as I could give
him, without revealing more than I already had. Nick looked up at me, and
smirked again.
“Can’t have you getting all cold on us, now, can we?”